Am I a hag?

Am I a hag? I don't know. People will tell you I am far from that...but if they really knew what I was thinking, they may change their minds about me. When I was growing up, I used to tell people my goal was to be an old spinster hag. (I am well on my way) However, I would not own animals because I don't really like animals, and by animals, I mean cats. I may have a pig or two. Anyway, back to the point of me being a hag. Now, this was all brought upon by an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I started watching it on NetFlix, and am normally too busy to watch it...but I needed a break yesterday. Instead of going over the whole conversation, I will just tell you the part that made me want to shout Hallelujah. One doctor said to the other doctor, 'if you have to ask for a compliment, its not a compliment'. This made me think of some previous thoughts and feelings I have had over the years. Here is just one example of my haggness. One time a long time ago, I was in the MTC. There I had a companion (not as in a lesbian companion, but as in we had to work together and that is what you called each other) that kept saying saying how ugly she was and how the boys liked me more and I was prettier and a better teacher. Now, to most people, they would take this as a compliment, but I didn't. I felt like she wanted me to boost her self-esteem up. Well, one day we were in class and she said she was ugly, so I looked at her and said, "do you really think you are ugly or are you fishing for compliments?" True story. As it turns out, she had depression. Woops. Anyway, I don't like when people are down on themselves and expect other people to tell them contrary to what they said. (I don't know if that sentence makes sense....so just let it happen) So, if you are feeling down or negative, don't come to me. I won't try to build you up or give you a compliment to make you feel better. Grey's re-enforced this belief of mine. I probably wont tell you to your face that its not a compliment if you ask for it...but I will think it in my head.